Thursday, December 17, 2009

Mistaken identity

I ran into a friend the other day at the mall.

She said, "I saw you the other morning."

I said, "Oh yeah--where?"

She said, " You were out running, it was about 8:00 am."

"No." I interrupted.

She did not need to finish, because unless I'm being chased by a big pit bull, I do not run.

"Oh." she said. " I wondered why you didn't wave back at me."

But if it was me out there running in below freezing temperatures, I most certainly would have waved back. And possibly asked for a ride.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

One thing.



Williams Sanoma is selling this jar of "Handmade Peppermint Snow" for $10.00. Yes, ten bucks. I know, it's Williams Sanoma, but I'm sorry, I CANNOT HANDLE that they are selling CRUSHED candy canes for a ten whole dollars. My HUSBAND can "HANDMAKE" "Peppermint Snow" in 30 seconds flat. Which he did for the treats I made to take to the Christmas book club party. The Christmas book club party that I ended up not going to. :(

This has to be the most ridiculous food product ever.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Well said, Joseph B.Wirthlin




Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 16, 2009

20 Questions ala Annie

1. What is that smell in the refrigerator?

2. Will I ever poop again?

3. How many calories have I eaten today?

4. Do I really have to get out of bed?

5. Where is hubby?

6. If you are alone, do you really exist?

7. Isn't cleavage just pressed fat?

8. Does praying count if you're not on your knees?

9. Don't I look great in my new boots?

10. Is that my cell phone ringing?

11. Why am I so lazy?

12. Am I going bald?

13. Will I ever do anything of significance again?

14. Could it be that I really do like pecan pie?

15. Is someone downstairs?

16. Is that a wrinkle or cleft in my head?

17. Will I ever become a mother in law?

18. Are periods really necessary after age 50?

19. Is it too early to listen to Christmas music?

20. Has it really been that long since I last blogged?

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Haiku Wednesday

I love the seasons. Especially Fall. It signals that it's time to bring out the hot chocolate, start those pots of stews and soups simmering and most importantly I get to start wearing my Uggs.

It hasn't always been my favorite season though. It has taken me many years to come to appreciate it's beauty. In fact I used to dread it. I was bothered by all the fallen leaves. Call me crazy but I thought they made my yard look so messy. I was obsessed with keeping them cleaned up. I would spend hours each day raking them, just to wake up and do it all over again. I drove myself crazy trying to keep up. them.

Thankfully, I'm over that now, and I have come to appreciate them. (if you can appreciate leaves, I do. Really.)

I now pay someone to do all the raking. But, not until I enjoy them for as long as possible. Even the ones on my porch, the ones in the rain gutters those that have fallen into the window wells and even those that get blown into the garage and get tracked into my house. ;)

This week's haiku is about seasons.

Summer fades to fall
Start piling on the blankets
To ward off night's chill

Join the fun!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Finding the joy.

It's a snuggly autumn day in Utah-the kind of day when breezes dance among the leaves, the sun lazily appears once in a while, and a slight chill invites you to cuddle up in a comforter and read a good book. It's as if the very air whispers that life isn't going to last forever, so enjoy it while you can. It's a good reminder to take pleasure in every moment. Drink it all in this week and taste all there is to taste.

God created such a beautiful world yet I so often worry through it without noticing. So this week, I am dropping the worry, I'll stop fretting, take a deep breath and savor every second. Joy is everywhere for the taking. So, I'm gonna have me some.

Thank you internet


The most magnificent pair of boots that I purchased today.

I first spotted these when we were in Alaska. Unfortunatley, the shop didn't have my size. I have been coveting them for over a month now. They are so cute.


The shoes I will not be purchasing anytime soon. These are so not cute.

Now I'm officially ready for snow.

The reading has begun.

This is the reason I am so tired this morning. I stayed up way too late reading this under the covers with a flashlight.

My friend recommended this book. It's a teen novel so I must admit I somewhat hesitant to read it. But you see, my friend is smart. She knows her books. Which by the way, it's nice to have a friend like that. Someone who's judgement you trust. And you will go out and buy a book just on her recommendation. Thanks Jenne D.

It was an amazing read. I too would recommend it to you. In fact, it was so good that I'm headed out today to buy the next book in the series.

I'll have to wait until the weekend to read it though. I can't afford to stay up late two nights in a row. Because this girl needs her beauty sleep.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

Oh, how I've missed you Silly Haiku Wednesdays.I'm trying really hard to get back into the groove again.

This week's haiku is passion.

I've loved baking for as long as I can remember. Some of my fondest memories are baking cookies and sweet breads with my Grandmother. I love the all the measuring and how you have to be so precise and all. And the end result? Gooey yumminess.

When my son entered Culinary school, I tried talking him into specializing in baking. He wouldn't hear of it. Maybe in my next life I'll be a baker.

One of my favorite shows is Cake Boss on TLC. Once I watched a Cake Boss marathon Saturday. One episode after the other. Hubby thought it was a waste of time. Me? I think it was a day well spent.

I'm not much of a cooker (is that a word?), but man, can I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie.

If you're lucky I might send you some. ;)

Warm, homemade cookies
leave brown on my fingertips
And curves on my hips


Join the fun!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Putterings

Left to my own devices on Saturday mornings, I putter. I putter to the bagel shop, where I sit and eat my breakfast and watch families. And then I putter to the bookstore and lazily sift through stacks of books. I putter to the park and I putter about in my little house. I sift through the laundry, fretting over stains and frayed hems, making space for thought and breath. On Saturday, I puttered. On Sunday, there was the most delicious cup of herbal tea in all the land and a new dress. There was a drive in mountains with twisty roads and a lovely breeze.

And then there was a rented movie. Is there anything better than snuggling with your honey to watch a good movie? (and maybe a little golf, too) Is there? And just sitting there and remembering why it is you choose to do the things you want to do? Being home, warm and happy, after the puttering, drifting off to sleep. I don't know if there is.

Also, it's Columbus day today, so have a happy one.

Friday, October 9, 2009

What are my Children doing right now?

When my children were born I think the hospital must have installed a chip in my head. It's an alarm. It goes off, PING!, all the time. When my infants first arrived the alarm was a constant loud gonging in my heart, "Little one, little one, little on." By the time they could walk, talk, tie their shoes and wipe their own bottoms at school, the alarm was ringing only every 20 minutes or so. Once said small creatures have grown taller than you, grown out of the eye-rolling stage, and learned to use a credit card, the alarm is down to once or twice a day. To my knowledge it does not disappear. Now matter how old they are, it never ends. We shall see.

Have a lovely fall weekend. I will be sipping hot chocolate by the fire with that boy that I am madly in love with.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Driving without Estrogen

Yes, I have turned into that old lady.

*Little old lady, do not pull out right in front of me and drive 5 mph. Everywhere. Including every stop sign we encounter.

*And while we are at it, listen up Utah County drivers: You all need to learn how to negotiate a 4 way stop. And roundabouts too, for that matter.

*Hey there cutie pie: Hang up and freakin drive.

*Slow down there hotshot. We are all impressed with your big hummer. Now go away.

*Turn signals, please?

*By the way, in a parking lot? Slow down! I cannot see very well because Biff and Buffy have blocked my vision with their massive SUVs.

*And whoever hit my car last week and didn't bother to leave a note? Thanks. Have you ever heard of karma?

I'll spare you my thoughts regarding BYU game day traffic.

Rant over.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sweet Dreams

All last weekend I had dreams of my teeth dissolving inside my head. This is my go-to anxiety dream. Another is I fall down my stairs and knock out all my teeth.

Toothlessness is obviously a big thing for me.

Recently, Hubby was flossing between a crown and it just popped right off. A month later it happened again. The dentist was shocked. He said he had used the most heavy duty cement available to him to glue that sucker in place. It was a mystery to him why it came off, again. The only thing he thinks could have caused this, are the pick flossers that my husband uses. (that, combined with the angle or aggressiveness of his flossing). He instructed Hubby to use normal floss from now on. "Be gone evil pick flossers", he said.

I wonder if Hubby is following doctor's orders. Probably not. But hopefully, mystery solved, and it won't happen again. We'll wait and see.

For twenty years I've had a crown of my own. On my bottom middle tooth. The one right smack in the middle. You can't miss it. And if you've never had a crown before, let me share with you what they do to your tooth in preparation for the crown. They file it down to just a pointy little nub. Yeah, real sexy, huh?

Needless to say, all this crown falling off business has caused me a little anxiety. Because my crown is going on twenty years old. And who knows how long that is in "crown years". That glue won't last forever, ya know?

So any day now I know that the "biting into an apple/crown missing/pointy tooth revealed" dreams are going to start up. Can't wait.

I wonder why my dreams can't be more pleasant and happy. Ones with George Clooney in them? ;)

Do you have a recurring dream? If so, share. Please.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Happy :)

I don't know the origin of this little jewel, but I just had to share it.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Something to think about.

My Favorite C.S. Lewis Quote

"God loves us, so He makes us the gift of suffering. Through suffering, we release our hold on the toys of this world, and know our true good lies in another world. We're like blocks of stone, out of which the sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of his chisel, which hurt us so much, are what make us perfect. The suffering in this world is not the failure of God's love for us; it is that love in action. For believe me, this world that seems to us so substantial is no more than the shadlowlands. Real life has not begun yet." ("Shadowlands," p. 1)

Have a lovely weekend.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I am from.

I am from hearty, dirt-rich farm country.

I am from a family of redheads.

I am from clearance racks and hand me downs.

I am from roadtrips with quarrels over the window seats.

I am from bookmobiles and dusty school libraries.

I am from canned peaches, pickles and homemade pizza.

I am from Mormon heritage.

I am from red rover, freeze tag and kick the can.

I am from a family with 8 kids.

I am from crowded rooms and longed for privacy.

I am from reading in bed til the last possible moment.

I am from Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy.

I am from shared Ford LTDs and Volkswagen Beetles.

I am from Gilligans Island, Leave it to Beaver and Beverly Hillbillies.

I am from hard work that teaches that blood, sweat and tears will prevail.

I am from riding our bikes to Thurgood's Market just to buy penny candy.

I am from casseroles made with TLC.

I am from a generous family that loves me.

Friday, September 18, 2009

In which knew I should have become a crab fisherman.


Somebody looks awfully happy in this picture. Could it be, because she just hauled in this ginormous crustacean? It couldn't be just a nervous twitch because she was just told, "Watch out for those claws, these guys have been known to twist about and pinch you." Regardless, that's one big cheesy smile.

Now, do me a favor. Click to enlarge the photo. I double dare you.

Have you ever seen so many "smile lines" on one face? Holy cow. What's a girl to do? Never smile? I'll have to pratice my smile in the mirror. I shooting for a smile with three lines instead of four. Wish me luck. :)

Oh, and one more favor. Promise to never, ever mention anything to me about those crows feet.

Also, somebody needs to learn to photoshop. Looking at this photo makes me feel down right crabby.

Have a good weekend friends. Get out and do something fun with the ones you love.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Lucky me!


Last week, I was the lucky recipient of a most happy package. It came courtesy of the hip and talented Jenn at www.youknowthatblog.com

She was celebrating her 100th post and I entered to win her drawing. And I won. Whoot! Whoot! I've never won anything before, so you can imagine my excitement.

She sent not one, but three mesh produce bags. Aren't they awesome? I love them. They are reusable so I can help out our planet. I love being green! I can assure you that these lovelies will not be gathering dust on my shelf.

You can get yours here www.inthemeshbags.com

Christmas is just around the corner and these would make wonderful neighbor gifts or stocking stuffers.

Thanks Jenn for spreading the wealth.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

It's all about chaos for this week's theme.

Hey, driver in front.
Kindly use your turn signal.
So we don't collide!

Join the fun!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

absorbent origamis


Our cabin steward worked his magic every evening after we left our room.

Of course, this little bunny met his demise ten minutes later when I had to shower.

I wish the steward would have spent more time cleaning than making towel origamis. The day we arrived, I noticed little bits of "stuff" all over one area of the carpet. It was still there on the last day.

While we were waiting to disembark, I overhead a lady tell her friend that she had lined up all of her towel animals on the sofa in her cabin. Now that had to have taken up every inch of spare space in her room. Because, if you've ever been on a cruise ship, you know how small the cabins are. She went on to say that the towel folding demonstration was the highlight of her trip.

Um, yeah, okay lady. Somebody must have had a boring cruise.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Packing light fail

We took two pieces of luggage with us to Alaska. And those babies were heavy. Like 50lbs worth. I know, because I weighed them. I took so much stuff. Too much in fact.

When we arrived at the check in counter, the Delta representative informed me that my bag was 3 lbs over the 50 lb weight limit.

She gave me two options to remedy my problem. I could a) pay $50 for an overweight charge or b) I could unzip my luggage right there on top of the ticket counter and try to figure what items, if removed, would bring the weight to what it needed to be. So that's what I did.

One particular gentlemen, who was next in line, was getting a little impatient. I mean alot impatient. His huffing and puffing was audible and I noticed that he was rolling his eyes. I immediately started apologizing and explained that I was only doing what I had been told to do by the Delta rep. And that meant unzipping my fat suitcase right there on the counter.

And it took under a minute to make the switch. So take that you mean huffy businessman.

Keeping in mind that whatever I removed would have to be carried in my backpack. (that already was straining my neck and shoulders) My first reaction was to take all of my undies and put them in the backpack. Seriously. But I was using the backpack in lieu of a purse and it contained my ipod, books, wallet, lipstick, Kleenex etc. I realized that if I did that, I would then have to worry about wrestling with undies while trying to find chapstick at the bottom of the backpack. Not a good idea folks. I was also aware that I had an "audience" and Mr. Impatient would more than likely be able to sneek a peek at my unmentionables while I was making the switcheroo, and I didn't want to give him that pleasure. So I quickly scratched that idea.

And just so you know, a pair of Nike tennis shoes and two books weigh 3 lbs.

On this trip I packed ALOT of things that didn't get much play. In retrospect I could have just packed two pairs of jeans and 4 shirts for the entire trip. I just kept wearing things again and again. I did make it a point to wear different shirts in different cities. Of course not until they passed the smelling of the armpits test.

So basically what I am saying is.....the only item that I changed daily was my undies. See, I'm not totally gross! Just semi gross! Oh, and I didn't have a ton to launder when I got home either. Happy! Happy!

So the moral of the story is "Be not so dumb my traveling friends. Travel light." My next trip I am gonna go light and fit everything in a carry on bag. It's a worthy goal but I may have a small problem. I have to take my own pillow with me when I travel. It's ludicrous I know, but the thought of having to sleep on a pillow after strangers would put me over the edge. Really folks I have smelled some "funky" pillows at hotels. So leaving it home isn't an option and it takes up quite alot of space. But I'm still gonna try!

I'll post pictures soon. Alaska is beautiul and was amazing.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

We are headed out for a little R&R.

I'll be back next week. Bon Voyage.

I wish you'd join us each week for silly haiku. The more the merrier.
This week's haiku is freestyle.

Alaska is cold.
I'll be bundled up all week.
I hope I survive.

Join the fun!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I'll take mine with a little eyeshadow on the side

On Saturdays, hubby hits the ground running. He's been like this for as long as I can remember. It's just the way it is. It's all that nervous energy, I think.

Early in our marriage this didn't set too well with me. The reason? He thought that I should get up early too. All because he wanted to "take on the day" and go do something fun. RIGHT NOW! Times a wastin!

I finally had to say, "Dear hubby, I love you so much and I don't want you to think you married a lazy bum, but for the love of "you know who", please do not disturb me until eight am. Or I'm gonna be a grouch with you." All day long.

Since then, he has obliged. Thank you, dear hubby.

Most Saturdays I would quickly brush my teeth, throw on a baseball cap, my sweats and away we'd go. Makeup? Who had time for makeup when you had a husband chomping at the bit to get the day going? So I kinda looked a like a slouch.... Every Saturday!

I didn't think hubby gave my less than stellar appearance much thought. That is until one Saturday he said, "I'll wait for you while you put on your makeup."

What? You don't like my au natural look? Freckles and all?

According to hubby, I looked "better with makeup"... "I mean more refreshed", he said. "Like I let you sleep in until 8:00 am refreshed". He went on to say that I looked completely different without makeup. Like a whole different person.

Wow. That bad, huh?

I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But he did. And ever since, I've had this thing about makeup. Meaning, I try never to leave the house without it on. Even if it's just a little.

Lately, I've become weary of putting on makeup. Trying to make my lashes longer and fuller than they will ever be, has become such a bore. Really. It would be nice if we would all go without makeup. Imagine all the time that it would free up. Think of the money we would save. We'd all look the same. Sort of.

Then I'd be able to sleep in until 8:10am on Saturdays. That right there is enough to make me want to give it a go. So starting tomorrow I am boycotting my makeup drawer. Feel free to join me.

My only concern is that you, my friends, won't recognize me. Because Lord knows I'LL LOOK LIKE A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON WITHOUT IT! ;)

Friday, August 28, 2009

No gifts, please.

I went to bed without taking off my make-up. Again.

I read once that for every time you don't wash your make-up off at night, you age five days. I've been lazy and have committed this crime quite frequently this summer.

So people, that technically means that today could be my birthday.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

Happy Wednesday to you all.

Hope you enjoy my haiku about appreciation.

All my blogging friends-
Sharing snippets of their lives...
Brings delight to me!

Seriously, really, truly, honestly....I adore reading your blogs.

You all seem to have such wonderfully fulfilled and exciting lives. You get to go on exciting trips and do fun things. Like get engaged and play with your kids. It makes my life seem pretty pitiful and boring. (don't cry for me Argentina!!!)

It makes me want to be you.

Just for a day though.

Join the fun!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

ZZZZZZZZZZ

I have houseguests staying with me this week. They are attending a conference nearby and are gone during the day. Which is good, because I haven't recuperated from my trip to DC and I don't think I have enough energy to entertain them.

I is tired!

But let's get back to my guests. They are the model of what how house guests should be. They are lovely, considerate, quiet as church mice and very tidy.

I must share that being a hostess doesn't come naturally to me. I stress about the little things."Does the food taste okay? Do the sheets smell nice? Are the pillows fluffy enough?"

I've worked extremely hard to be gracious and make them feel at home. But you know how it is when someone else is in your space? There's stuff. Lying all about. Stuff like shoes, backpacks, empty water bottles, etc.

Normally, I'm the kind of person who puts everything back once I'm done with it and I find it nearly impossible to go to sleep until things are put away and "just so". It's unrealistic and anal, I know, and I have been working this past year on easing up on this sort of behavior.

So you can imagine how my week has gone. Thus far, I have been able to keep my obsessivness at bay. Up until last night.

We had stayed up late talking. So by the time my guests retired I was exhausted. I got straight in my jammies and hit the sack. As I was about to turn out the lights I started thinking about all the things that were out of place. There really wasn't much. But I couldn't quit thinking about it.

I laid there and had a debate with myself about how STUPID it would be to get up to "fluff up" the sofa pillows and put a few glasses in the dishwasher. "What if one of my guest came up for a drink and caught me tidying up in my pajamas?" That would be embarassing. I mean, who does that sort of thing at 1:00 am?"

Me.

Needless to say, I think I went a little overboard.....My guest bathroom toilet is squeaky clean and my coffee table is sporting a nice sheen!

Did I mention that I am tired? ;)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

Happy Haiku Wednesday to everyone.

The theme this week is Seperation.
Whick makes me think of my boys and how they live too far from their Mama. sigh.

When we are apart.
Do we wish on the same star?
I hope so my love.

Join the fun!

Monday, August 17, 2009

P.U.

I just returned from visiting our son in Washington DC. We had a fabulous time. So many museums, so little time.

My goal was to return with the Declaration of Independence memorized by heart. Just to impress you all. No such luck though.

Nonetheless, I return to you a more patriotic gal.

Our hotel was conveniently located next to the subway. We used it to get around the town. It was pretty nifty.

Although, I am thankful that I don't have to ride it everyday. Especially in the thick of summer. The only way that I can describe the subway is that it was hotter than the "devils breath" down there. It was suffocating, stifling and just plain hot.

And it wasn't too fresh above ground either. The first two days of our visit were the hottest days DC has seen all summer. Lucky us! It was 95 degrees + 100% humidity and ZERO breeze.

Combine that with garbage, general stankness and the vehicular and human exhaust of DC and you can imagine I was one "fine lookin lady" during my visit. I was sporting super sexy soggy pits, some beady upper lip and boobsweat like no other.

Can we talk about butt sweat? Please friends, tell me that I'm not the only one that has ever had to deal with this. PLEASE, I beg of you, tell me it ain't so!!!!!

Luckily, mid-trip I discovered baby powder. And just like that, baby powder was my new best friend. It saved the day. Because moistness=crankiness.

So there you have it my friends. A little about the vacay.

I learned a lot of cool stuff about our forefathers and the sacrifices they made for us. But mostly I learned that I am thankful for my car, dry Utah summers and my love, L.O.V.E. of baby powder.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Please pass the estrogen.

I'm heading out bright and early tomorrow to go on a girls weekend with my mom and three sisters. On Friday we will be joined by my three sister in laws.

My plan is to chill and stay in my jammies or sweats all day. I wonder if I can talk the others into it. I doubt it because a of few of them get dolled up EVERY day of the year. It's a sickness, I know. I'm just glad I don't have it. I can slum anyday of the year. Just name the day. I look for reasons to be a schlepp.

I even tried to talk my little sis into joining me in leaving the makeup at home. Don't think that one is gonna happen. Oh the vanity!

We are staying at my brother's cabin in Midway. I don't know why they call it a cabin. It's bigger and fancier than most people's homes. Go figure. We're lucky to have such a nice brother to let us stay in such a beautiful setting.

I just hope we don't break any fancy lamps or piece of art while playing a spirited board game. That and eating treats is about as rambunctious as it gets. Whoo hoo!

Some of us or should I say all of us have strong personalities and opinions. I've made myself a promise to try not to ruffle any feathers and be on my best behavior. AT ALL TIMES. I promise, Mom.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

The theme for this week's silly haiku Wednesday is favorite scents.

A puppy dog's breath.
The smell of freshly mowed grass.
A wonder indeed!


It was difficult to narrow it down to just a few. I truly love the smell of so many things.

My Mother teases me about my keen sense of smell.

When we were young, she would hide a stash of chocolate bars so that she could enjoy a treat after all of us were tucked in bed. She claims that I would frequently find her stash. What can I say? I was just following my nose. Or perhaps I was just a little snoop?

Either way, I do have a keen sense of smell. And depending on the situation, it's not always a good thing.

I'm still able to smell chocolate from a mile away. So unless you intend on sharing that piece of chocolate in your purse, it's better to keep it at home my friends.

Join the fun!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

You give good blood.

Last week I spent several evenings out on the patio trying to relax and read. It was most enjoyable. Except for one small thing.

The mosquitos. Apparently they wanted in on the action. Every evening I would "score" at least two new bites.

And the one thing you must know, when it comes to itching, I have NO self control.

One night I woke up scratching. The next day they itched so bad, I took a hairbrush to them. I know, WHO does that sort of thing? I tell you this only because I want you to know how crazy they make me.

So all weekend I tried not to scratch those babies. Thankfully, all my hard work and self control paid off. Come Monday, all was good. Those suckers were starting to go away.

Unfortunately, this morning, I woke up with TWO new mosquito bites on my thigh. Ugh. They are driving me crazy right now. They both feel like they have two bites, but......do mosquitos have fangs like that? Is it possible that I was bitten that many times by one mosquito? Or was I attacked by a whole GANG of mosquitoes in my own bed?

Anyway, I've learned my lesson. I definitely won't be going outside before applying bug repellent.

But, my dilemma is.... What am I gonna do about being bitten in the middle of the night. IN MY OWN BED? Do you suppose hubby would kick me out if I applied repellent right before climbing into bed with him? ;)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Why my book club is better than your bookclub

Tonight our hostess has informed us not to dress fancy because we are going to have a marshmellow roasting contest around the fire pit her backyard. Sweet!

If we don't read the book, we still come. We're not all caught up in the old fashioned idea that we have to read the book. Don't get me wrong; we all ready plenty of books, just not the same one at the same time, that way we can pass around one copy. Saving and being fiscally responsible.

So, "game on" bookclub buddies. May the best bookworm win!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

I want to give a birthday shoutout to my blog buddy Jenn. I hope your day is full of love and surprises.

This week's theme is Birthday Woe/Joys.

You are here again.
The only question I have,
Years, what's the hurray?


Join the fun!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Load up the movin truck babe.

When my boys were younger, they weren't particularly fond of road trips.

So hubby and I are making up for lost time and have gone all "road trip happy". We've taken two already this month.

One thing I've noticed, is that we are in the habit of falling in love with every place we visit. "Couldn't you see us living here?' we ask each other.

We're dreamers that way.




I'm thinking we could build a little cabin here and gaze at the Teton Mountains all day.

Although, I'm having a difficult time convincing hubby on this one.

He doesn't want to be eaten by bears while taking out the trash.

The big sissy!

P.S. If you happen to be reading this dear hubby, I kidd about the sissy stuff. I want you to know how big, strong and brave I think you are. In fact, I'm convinced that you could wrestle a bear with one hand tied behind your back ;)

Monday, July 20, 2009

Happy Monday!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Can you die of mortification?

A few years ago we attended a family reunion. One of the activities was a day hike up to Timpanogos Cave.

It was going to be a hot day, so I came prepared with lots of water. I knew there were restroom facilities towards the top of the trail, so, no worries, I drank away.

The thing that I hadn't anticipated, was the crappy (literally) condition of the restrooms. I was be able to smell the facilities long before I could actually see them.

It was so offensive that I knew there would be no potty break for me. I COULDN'T go in. No amount of coaxing from hubby was going to change my mind. What's a girl to do? Apparently just buck up and suffer until she gets herself down the mountain. That's what.

By the time we finished touring the cave, I had to pee so badly that my bladder felt as if it would explode. Oh lordy was it PAINFUL.

I left hubby in the dust and hi tailed it down the trail with my baby sister. I was going to run if I had to. We were passing people left and right.

I soon realized that going down was alot harder than going up. Who knew? The jarring was unbelievable! My poor knees. But mostly, my poor bladder. With every step, I felt a little leak. It felt worse than jumping on a trampoline.

Little sister laughed at me. Which in turn made me laugh and things only got worse. "Oh little sister I said, mark my word, your day will come. Just give it a few years." One day you will innocently cough or sneeze and you'll go, "Oh what just happened there?" Then you will feel so guilty for laughing at me.

By the time we made it to the bottom, I felt as if I had full on wet myself. I made a bee line to the car, put my wet undies in a plastic bag and had to go "commando" the rest of the day.

Man, I'm really looking forward to my eighties. sigh

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

Hey all you closet poets. Join me in the fun. The theme this week is summer time.

Cool nights on the porch
The bug repellent is on
Long talks with good friends.

Join the fun!

Abbreviated Miscillany

1. I have been wearing alot of skirts and sundresses. Almost every day. My friends always ask where I'm going all dressed up. But mostly I'm wearing them because I'm loving the ventilation they provide. Nothing like a gust of wind going up your dress to cool you off. So, I've officially dedicated this summer as "The summer of the dress." The only downside is that I have to shave my legs every day.

2. Caught hubby on the computer looking at puppies for sale. I'm getting a little worried because he has been talking about getting a new puppy way too much lately.

3. Discovered via magazine article that olive oil is a good makeup remover.

4. Hubby planned a cruise to Alaska for later this summer. I was totally surprised, because we already have a trip planned for next month. Normally he thinks about these sort of things a really long time before he actually does them. Two trips in one summer? I am beside myself. So, happy day! Spontaneity is alive and well at our house. This will be the first cruise that I've been on that has not required dieting the whole month before going. Because Alaska is cold. And that means layers and layers of clothing. Kudos to you hubby for picking the perfect destination for a wife who has been eating chocolate every day.

5. My Mom is having surgery this Friday. After which, hopefully, she will be able to breathe better. Good luck Mom. xoxoxo

6. We're off to the Shakespearean festival this weekend. Gotta love those plays that William wrote.

7. Lastly, I am at a point in my life where I could use a little more zen. I'm getting too old to carry around so much piss and vinegar.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Silly Haiku Wednesday

I really bombed at last week's Haiku. I think I did it right this time.

Now my brain hurts from thinking too hard. I need a diet coke.

Me and Kelsey are addicted, you know.

This week's theme is your favorite gadget.

Thank you Neti Pot
You keep allergies at bay
So I can now breathe!

Join the fun!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Call me crazy, but I don't get it.

Dan Brown's much anticipated book "The Lost Symbol" is scheduled for release this September. The local news reported that our town library has pre-ordered fifty copies.

As of this morning there have been two hundred people who have placed a hold for the book.

I can't imagine wanting to add your name to the list knowing that there are that many people ahead of you.

My advice to those people... BUY THE BOOK. Come on, splurge!

Because by the time your turn comes around, they will have already made a movie out of it.

Just sayin!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Things I'd like to outsource

1. Washing my face. By the end of the night, I'm usually exhausted and washing my face is the last thing I want to do. I'd love to hire someone to come by every evening, remove my makeup, massage in cleanser and then gently rub it off with a wet towel.

2. Dealing with the laundry. I'd prefer to just toss my clothes on the floor at the end of the evening. This employee would gather them up, decide how to deal with each item (clean enough to wear again, dry cleaning, launder, hand wash) and then deal with it. I'd never touch laundry again.

3. Wake up calls. When I was little, my mother would wake me up every morning singing a song. "It's time to get up, it's time to get up. So early in the morning." Then she would let me lay there; to yawn and stretch until I was fully awake. It was awesome. If she wants to reprise this role (Mom?) I'm all for it. In lieu of that, I'd like someone to start doing this for me. stat. And I think I'd would like a glass of juice with that wake up call. (Can you tell I'm not a morning person?)

I have many more of these, but I'm depressing myself. Because sadly, this will never happen. But a girl can dream....right?

What do you guys hate doing and want to outsource?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A phone call from your Mom is time well spent.

Both of my sons reside in diffterent states than I. Ideally, I like to talk to them once a week. (Sorry boys, texts don't count) Sadly, this rarely happens. I know, poor me.

I've always tried to not be in their business and be a low-key kinda Mom. I don't ever want them to be like "Oh, it's that annoying Mom of mine calling again". But if I don't hear from them in two weeks, I start to worry. It's a Mom thing.

I even try to call them at times when I know they will be at home, thus making my bi-monthly phone call more convenient for them.

As of late, they never pick up.

I used to leave them a message. Sometimes long detailed ones.

Later (sometimes days) they will call back and say "I saw you called, What's up?'

"Did you listen to my message?'

"No, what did it say?"

It's frustrating. I don't know why I even bother leaving a message!! Now, if I get their voicemail, I just hang up.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy receiving their one-line text messages. They are better than nothing, but they just don't cut it for me.

Call me old fashioned, but I actually enjoy and miss (and maybe need) having real live conversations. Plus, I'm a extremely slow texter.

And really boys, you should feel flattered.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Some things will never change.

On more than one occasion, I have been teased by family and friends about being a little OCD. I beg to differ. Although I admit, I do like things a certain way.

Case in point.

While at my parent's home this weekend, I had to use the bathroom. As I was sitting on the potty waiting for things to "happen", I noticed that their roll of toilet paper was going the "wrong way".

This probably isn't making sense, so let me explain.

At home when I put on a new roll of toilet paper, I always make sure that the end of the roll is going over rather than under. This makes it more convenient for one to find the end of the toilet paper. Especially in the dark. While they are half asleep.

So as I sat there, I couldn't help myself. I HAD to switch it.

And I am not proud of it.

I'd like to think that had I been at a friend's home instead of my parent's, that I would have refrained from doing such a thing. But I'm an not entirely sure I could.

So if I happen to be visiting your bathroom and I see that your toilet paper is going the "wrong way", I might have to make the switch.

I feel the need to apologize to all of you ahead of time. But you'll thank me later. I promise.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Who knew they made brown tomatoes?

Last Saturday, while at the farmers market, we happened upon a vendor that was selling meat from cows that were grass fed. It was pricey, but hey, these cows were coddled, given massages and grass fed! What do you expect?

Hubby wasn't convinced that we would be able to taste a difference. But I convinced him we would. Begrudgingly, he bought a couple of sample packs before we committed to a freezer full of the stuff.

For the record, I am not a big beef eater. Although once in a blue moon, a juicy burger (medium well, please) cooked on the grill sounds really good to me. Plus, it's summer and what red-blooded american family doesn't grill in the summertime?

So, grilled burgers were on the menu this week. Needless to say, hubby was so excited. "Hey we are cooking beef! Looky here neighbors, it's beef!!

Since grilling is a manly thing to do, I let him do the honors. I went to get all of the condiments ready only to discover we were out of ketchup. But not to worry, I thought, we have some in our food storage downstairs.

Upon retrieval of the afore mentioned ketchup, I noticed the color was a little....

off.

It was brownish in color. Not good.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the expiration date was two years ago. "I wonder if I could pull this off? Maybe hubby wouldn't notice."

Then I got to thinking. Just my luck it would make us sick and hubby would blame it on the grass fed beef and then I would never be able to convince him that my "once in a blue moon hamburger" needed to come from only grass fed pampered cows.

So, off to the supermarket I went for a bottle of ketchup. And while I was there, I picked up something a little chocolatey ;)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

You leave me smiling

sleeping with the bedroom windows open.

fresh strawberry basil milkshakes.

grilling fresh veggies.

listening to Eva Cassidy.

shopping at the farmers market.

the family of ducks in my backyard.

a surprise postcard in my mailbox.

Monday, June 15, 2009

My lastest obsession

I like to give hubby a hard time about his taste in radio stations. Really his lack of taste. Or at least that's what I thought it was.

While driving, I love nothing more than to turn up the radio and listen to some tunes.

Not talk radio. Anything but. And that's all he listens to. Ever.

Lately I have started to rebel. I simply refuse to listen to Sean, Glenn or Rush for one more second. It's not that I don't want to stay informed, it's just they are starting to drive me a little crazy. Is it just me, or are they starting to sound more negative and just a tad overly dramatic?

My point is, that with music playing in the background, I can still carry on a normal conversation. With talk radio, hubby listens intently and pays such close attention to the commentary. I daresn't say a word. So, for the most part, it's been "no talking" for me while driving.

And I need to talk. Dangit!

Recently, I've started listening to NPR and much to my surprise, I like it. And do you know what kids? It actually makes me feel smarter. No kidding.. I cannot get enough of it.

Not only do I listen in the car but I've started listening at home while cooking and cleaning. Before you know it I'll be able to be on a trivia game show. About current events and the news!!

But do me a favor friends, don't mention this to hubby. I don't want him to think I have "bad taste." in radio or that he has "converted" me to talk radio. I'd never be able to live that down.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Rain. My little helper.

For Mothers Day hubby gave me two huge potted planters full of the most gorgeous assortment of flowers. The kind of flowerpots that are planted at the nursery months ago and look full and luscious before you even lay eyes on them.

They also cost alot. More than I would ever spend.

I decided right then and there that I was going to make a sincere effort to not kill these flowers that hubby so thoughtfully gave to me.

I know that doesn't sound like much, but for some reason, remembering to water the plants is a huge undertaking for me. I plant stuff every year and then completely forget to water, which is really an issue, ya know? Because plants like water, it seems. Go figure.

Now let's talk weather.

Are you sick of all this moisture? I mean how much rain can one take? It's starting to feel like a monsoon out there.

I can imagine most of you are looking forward to hot sunny days so you can start hanging out at the Scera pool or Seven Peaks.

Me too. Kind of. Okay, I'll admit it. Maybe not. Let me explain...

This rain. It's helping me out and making my life a whole heck of alot easier. I haven't had to remember to water every morning. And my pots, you should see them. They look amazing. I have hot pots! (Not to be confused with hot pockets. I don't have any of them.)

And, if I wasn't so comfy (lazy) lying here in bed, I would go take a picture and post them. Just to show them off to you, my friends. But, I'll share them another time.

Now I know this is pretty risky on my part as I might kill them before I get around to posting pics. But not to worry folks, I'm a really committed waterer. Trust me.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

One isn't such a lonely number

I went to an afternoon movie yesterday.

All by myself.

It wasn't so bad.

I didn't get popcorn and a drink. Which we normally always do. It just didn't feel right going to all the fuss and expense for just little ole me.

I saw Disney's new movie UP. It was my first time seeing a movie in 3-D. I felt stupid for just a second putting on those special glasses and all. But I got over it real fast. It was awesome.

I cried three times. It really has a touching storyline. One that is meant for young and old alike. It certainly got me thinking about some things. If you haven't had the chance to see it yet. Go. I promise, it will not disappoint.

I think I will take hubby to it on Saturday. Although, I'll definitely be getting popcorn and a drink this time. Somehow movies are always better when eating treats.

Wouldn't you agree?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Sam I am


Samuel Dato
Sept 10, 1932 - May 23, 2009


I will miss hearing your stories about your adventures around the world.

I will miss your generous nature.

I will miss our spagetti dinners with you.

I will miss your teasing.

I will miss your positive outlook on life.

I will miss your fun loving, boisterous italian demeanor.

Thank you for accepting a Mormon girl into your life and making me feel loved and a part of your family.

Til we meet again.

Your daughter inlaw, Annie

Monday, June 1, 2009

Faces only a mother could remember

We moved to Provo some time ago.

Three years to be exact.

So you can imagine my surprise when the Sunday school teacher looked at us and said "It looks like we have some visitors with us today. Would you stand up and introduce yourselves."

"What the hell?" (excuse my french) That's all I have to say about that.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Amen to that.

A couple of articles in today's paper caught my eye.

The first, written by a pastor, said that turning to god can help you lose weight. Hmmm. Hasn't worked for me. I guess I'm just not faithful enough. (I kidd)

The second article reports that killer bees have been found in Cedar City.

I think I need to switch gears and start praying for those bees.

That they won't make it to Utah County.

Because a sting from a killer bee sounds alot scarier than a little chaffing of the innerthigh.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mr. T


I had the opportunity to hang out a little with this guy last week.

He took me out for my first taste of sushi. He loves it and eats it at least once a week. I find this interesting because when he was younger, I was convinced that he was the pickiest eater on earth. Just the sight of a piece of lettuce on his plate was enough to put him over the edge. Onions? Forget about it!

I had the best time with him. He's an awesome son and I am proud of him. He works hard at everything he does. He's the kind of guy you want on your team because he will always have your back. He's going back to DC tomorrow. Gotta get smarter at school. He's good at that!

I miss him already.

Monday, May 18, 2009

cleaning on the sabbath

Last night I could tell that a migraine was coming on. I started to see little auras of light and my vision started to get blurry in one eye.

Then I started to feel nauseated.

I was so convinced that I was going to "lose it" that I had to go scrub the toilet to get it ready.

Do any of you do that? Prepare the toilet, I mean. I HATE having my face so close to a dirty bowl. It's enough to make you......

sick.

But it was all for naught. The toilet didn't need to be used.

But hubby's all "Hey, whatever it takes to get a clean toilet around here."

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Just throw a cami under it!

Today I went to the mall to buy a shirt. Something girly and springy. Something dressier than the solid knit shirts that serve as my usual summer uniform.

I looked and looked and I finally reached a breaking point on an issue that has bugged me for some time.

The camisole.

Everything requires a shade or long cami by design. All the shirts I tried on were low-cut or completely sheer. I say it's a vast layering conspiracy!

But here's the deal: I don't want to wear a cami/shade under my shirt. I don't want to wear TWO shirts. I want to wear one. The reason being:

1. I'm lazy. A shade is one more thing to launder, store and generally deal with. Let's keep it simple.

2. I live in Utah. It's hot. I'm tired of feeling sweaty under layers of clothing.

3. I'm a middle-aged woman. I'm not overweight, but still, I have a general layer of padding aroung my mid-section, and it is a cause of consternation. The last thing I want to do is add two milimeters to the thickness of my abdomen.

Perhaps they say that the cami is a "stylish accessory" which provides "fashionable layering options".

I don't believe it.

I think they want to just sell us two shirts.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hand me a kleenex

Members of my immediate family have suffered with seasonal allergies/hayfever for many years. I was never sympathetic towards their suffering. In fact, I was rather annoyed by all their sniffling and sneezing.

Henceforth, I will be sympathetic. I promise.

This tree gunk and pollen is coating my lungs and sinuses! It is making me miserable. My eyes are itchy. And my good ol' nose. Stuffy one minute, runny the next. It's being good to me that way.

So I am off to use my neti pot. Which, I think, is one of the best inventions ever! Seriously. Don't knock it until you try it.

Also.... I could use some sympathy.

Please?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hey, look at me!

Sometimes I get the feeling that my husband doesn't look at me.

At work last week, I had I took one of my hoop earrings off in the morning to talk on the phone. I forgot to put it back in and apparently walked around with the pirate look going on all day and NO ONE SAID A THING.

Last evening we went to an awards dinner for his work. He had invited one of his customers and his wife (whom I had never met) to attend with us. All evening I was chatting, laughing, being friendly and trying to make a good impression.

When I got ready to brush my teeth before bed, I noticed that I had the biggest piece of food in between my front teeth. RIGHT THERE. Hello? How could he not NOTICE !!! Ugghhhhh.

So much for good impressions.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Care to join?

I stockpile books. LOTS of them. I have shelves of books that I haven't gotten around to reading. I blame it on Costco because their books are so inexpensive. I really need to start reading them.

I also need to start attending bookclub again. I think bookclubs are the key to making smart, funny and fabulous friends.

But reading all of the afore mentioned books could seriously take my focus off "Amazing Race, "House Hunters" and other tv shows that need my undivided attention.

So maybe I should start a TV club where I could make so-so smart, funny, fabulous friends.

Monday, April 20, 2009

You're so vain

I wonder if I could get a doctor's prescription for a tan?

I couldn't possibly be that shallow, could I? I couldn't possibly,with the economy the way it is, be concerned looking tan, could I?

I wouldn't bet against it.

I miss having a tan.

Remember being tan, all brown and healthy-looking? Remember believing that getting a tan made you look healthy? Laying in the backyard with a bottle of baby oil for your skin and lemon for your hair...

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Power of Words


Today I have been thinking about the power of words.

I love the Sanskrit language because those who formed the language did so with the intention that every sound should be sacred. They believed that sound was the quickest way to the divine.

It saddens me when we use harsh words towards each other and accuse each other falsely. I am reminded of this well-known passage that is wisdom for us all:
"Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man, but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth the man.

So please, let us be kind to each other, and assume only the best of each other's hearts.

Have a good weekend.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Offers you can't refuse

We took a long walk last evening. It proved to be more strenuous than I had anticipated. Not that we are out of shape or anything. It's those darn hills up where we live. Really.

We passed a house that had kid-scrawled chalk on the sidewalk that read "Free Hopscotch" and the squares stretched all the way up the walk.

I tried it. It was fun.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Warm up, please.

I need it to be sandal/flipflop weather already. I haven't got any in-between shoes.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Yell no

Something that really bugs me is yelling across the house to someone instead of just walking to wherever they are and speaking in a nice, even, low voice.

But I do it all the time and annoy MYSELF. Despite my repeated self-reminders to STOP YELLING ACROSS THE HOUSE, I have such a hard time stopping. I'll yell downstairs to hubby to tell him that dinner is ready, shake my head at myself in disgust, and promise myself to STOP. It's just a few extra steps and those extra steps would really make for a much calmer and quieter house. The next evening I'll remember not to yell and instead calmly go downstairs and tell him to come up for dinner. Such a sense of accomplishment! Such a calm! Until the next night when I yell again for him to come for dinner.

It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

21 is not enough.



It hasn't always been sweet and light.

But it has been sweet.

Happy 21st Anniversary Babe.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Just call me the floss fairy

I'm curious... Do ya'll floss?

I do--religiously--and I'm always equal parts horrified and fascinated at what comes out of my teeth AFTER brushing. Seriously...who knew you could cram THAT MUCH stuff in there?

This past weekend we went out with an assortment of friends for a belated birthday for hubster. Can I just tell you...I saw a disturbing amount of tartar on teeth of random strangers (and a few acquaintances, too). Get thee to a dentist and scrape that crap off before you get gum disease, people!

Good dental hygiene is the cornerstone of my existence. I feel like flying around and handing out dental floss to the whole world. And yes, I know that's a little weird.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Yea, I'll take dying in my sleep

Occasionally our neighbors gather for Friday night dinner and a movie at the clubhouse. There is an older gentleman who attends; he's more than 90 and lives alone and is a bit lonely after his wife died several years ago. He's always in good spirits at these events and basks in the attention of children and adults alike.

At one such party, he started choking on a hunk of meat. Luckily for him, there were several doctors in attendance. One of them Heimliched the man and he was fine again, although those of us who witnessed all of this were shaken.

As the party drew to a close another neighbor said goodbye to him, giggled and noted "Glad you are OK! That would have been an awful way to go, after you have lived this long."

Oh yes, she did.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Basking at the feet of Prophets

What I learned from General Conference this weekend:

I am nothing.
But I can do anything.
I need to pray with more purpose.
I need to talk about the gospel more.
I need to rededicate myself to my family.
I need to be more adaptable to change.
I need to attend the temple more. (and not rush)
I need to murmur less and be more grateful.
I need to use the atonement more.
I need to be more like Christ.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Second-born, but never second-best



The second one is different and exactly the same.

The second one is harder and easier.

The second one is predictable and surprising.

The second one is more work and less work.

The second one is a thorn in the side of the the first one, and a partner in crime.

The second one is worth it.

Happy Birthday Mr. A. I love you.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

10 commandments of dishwasher use

1. I am the automatic dishwasher; thou shalt not have any other gods before me, and believe that a five-second spin under the faucet is my equal.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the dishwasher in vain, and curse it for not unloading itself.

3. Remember the dishwasher and keep it holy; thou shalt not run it during the dinner hour.

4. Honor thy father and thy mother, and learn to place your dirty dishes in the dishwasher and not beside the couch.

5. Thou shalt not kill your meltable objects by placing them in the lower rack.

6. Thou shalt not cheat by running the dishwasher when it is not full.

7. Thou shalt not steal space through inefficient loading.

8. Thou shalt not bear false witness by claiming disposable items are meant to be washed and reused. And that includes drinking straws.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, if it has two dishwashers instead of one.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, who unloads the dishwasher in a timely manner.

This post may possibly have been inspired by the person in my house with whom I share a dishwasher. Maybe

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

She said I will be pretty in six to eight weeks

Mid February I went to the dermatologist. No, nothing wrong, unless you can count my obsession with the teeny tiny lines around my eyes and over my top lip and the dark patches on my cheeks and my pores OH MY GOSH MY PORES!!!

The dermatologist wrote me out a couple of prescriptions and gave me advice about products and then whipped out a can of liquid nitrogen and froze spot off my hands and legs. Before she did it she explained that for the next week to ten days I will look like crap (scabbing, possible blistering) but then the skin will slough off and heal and NO MORE DARK SPOTS.

And I was so excited about the prospect of perfect skin that I said, " Hey, I'm here, you've got the blow torch out, let's do it!" And she did.

I pointed out the brown spots on my hands and legs to her. Four located on my hands and three on my right leg. Much to my dismay, she saw ALOT more than I. (like 33 more. Yes, I counted). It took over three weeks for these babies to heal.

Now I don't have brown spots all over. I have bright red!! Yea, me and my speckled legs look hott!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Good for another year

Last week I hauled my bootie in for my annual GYN exam.

For me, going to the gynecologist rivals the joys in life I treasure such as root canal and unmedicated child birth. But I still trudge in year after year to do my womanly duties. And even in the face of everything that I handle on any given day, from juggling job and kids, to changing the world, I still get intimidated by a simple visit to the gynecologist.

Tell me that you didn't, at your last visit, follow the same pre-exam visit rituals that I engaged in. Buffing and shining every possible inch of your body that may be seen by the doctor. Okay maybe not buff and shine. We'll save that for the car. But, you know it's true.

The culmination of all of the waiting and worrying happened when I was told "to take everything off and tie the gown in the front...". Standing in the exam room, alone I began to undress. This is the part where I always hide my bra and underwear inside of my clothes. Whether it be tucked and folded up nicely underneath the pile of discarded clothes, or balled up. Why? Why do I do this? I am, for all intents and purposes, talking about a person who has been elbow deep in my hoo-ha. And yet I do this every stinkn' time. Why?

When all was said and done, the whole shabang took only a few minutes and it is now a distant memory until next year. I'm safe. I am all shiny and new. I can now pull my underwear out of my pant leg and go home. And while no one (including me) enjoys the spectulum, if your anything like me, you realize that it hurts alot less childbirth.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

For my yoga friends.

Hey Jenne and Dana. Some new poses for you to try :)

Downward Facing jowls: a morning asana

Worrier Pose: knit brow, tense jaw, shake head, beat chest, spit over shoulder--simultaneously.

Childish Pose: hands on hips, jutted lower-lip, eye-roll.

Oh-Joy Breathing: heavy sighs alternating with atonal "I'm irritated" humming.

Oy-Vey Breathing: Same as above, but shake head and tsk/cluck instead of hum.

Straw That Broke The Camel's Backend: curl up in fetal position and alternate laughing and crying hysterically.

Son Salutation: Turn on PBS kids, high five, and proceed directly to (see below)

Chattarunga: phone a friend

Mountain Pose: stand next to the laundry hamper.

Happy Mommy Pose: put the pillow over your head and go back to sleep.

Bridge Pose: invite a few blue-haired buddies over from the day center and gather around the card table.

Plank: Breastfeed three children. Ween. Look at your profile in the mirror.

Inversion: twist someones words (this is a good couples pose)

And finally a resting pose...shi=vanssana (aka QUIET. I'm in the BATHROOM)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The bed is crowded

Besides hubby, I used to take a book to bed with me every night. For the past little while I have been taking my laptop.

I love using that time to check my e-mail, catch up on friends and families blogs, order new kitchen knobs on e-bay and check up on pop culture on TMZ and People.

I am having a hard time finding the motivation to go to bed on time. Last night I was online until 1:30 am. And that is not the first time.

So I am constantly in a sleep-deprived state which isn't fair to those around me.

Hubby is not very sympathetic to my whining about needing a nap every day at 2:00 pm.

Today he said that the bedroom is NOT my office and that he is officialy kicking my laptop out of bed. He was also kind enough to reminded me that the bedroom is only supposed to be used for two things. Sleep and that other thing.

"Bring it on." I say

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dinners at six. Wear something nice.

I just want to share something with you all.

We have not eaten out at a restaurant since Friday, January 30th. That is a heck of a long time! At least for us.

Hubby has been out to lunch a handful of times, but for the most part, he has been getting his nourishment from moi. We have even been brown bagging it for lunch. I am really quite proud of myself.

Though, I am wondering how long this can last. I had a dream about Taco Time last night. Now I can't quit thinking about a soft meat burrito. And mexi fries.

Monday, March 16, 2009

It's okay to say No

Neal Maxwell had a quote framed on his wall to help him overcome "people fatigue." It read:

"My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds."

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I really wouldn't.

Yeah! The sun is showing it's face today. I am rooting for spring. By which I mean, if we have one more snowstorm, I'm going to walk in front of a bus.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

ok, now it's official

My honey had a birthday this weekend. Another year older. And more handsome.

They say that age is just a number. And I really believed that for a long time. But I just found out it's not true.

Age isn't a number. It's a thing. And that thing is Grape Nuts.

We've been eating Grape Nuts every morning now for about a month, mixed with vanilla yogurt, and maybe some blueberries for the antioxidants.

And I'm starting to freak out a little bit. Because I really like them.

I know the old annoying joke is to say, roughly every 3 years of our lives, "Now I'm really getting old." When we turned 22, it was, "that's it...no more birthdays to look forward to. I'm officially old."

Then 25 came, and we said, "ok, that's it. My twenties are halfway over, I'm officially old."

The Then 28 rolled up, and we thought, "Crap, only two more years before my life is over. Man I'm old.

Then the big 3-0 creeped up on us. (Which wasn't really that bad, in retrospect).

But it turns out we weren't actually getting old at all. We were just growing up a bit. And there were certain milestones along the way to remind us that we were growing up.

We can't eat the things we used to, without getting a little heartburn.

We started stuffing toilet paper in our ears at loud concerts to protect our hearing. That's probably a good thing.

Our knees began to ache after excercise. Well, that stinks, but oh well.

But then, out of nowhere... BAM!!

Grape Nuts.

If you need us, we'll be on our motorized carts at the mall.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Glad that's off my chest.

I am trying to be more positive today. Being that it's Friday you would think that I would be in a good mood. I am not.

Some things that are bothering me lately.

Under (barbed) wire bras.
Getting gray hair and pimples at the same time. It's just wrong.
Not getting to eat sugar. It sounds like a small thing, but somehow it's not.
Insomnia.
Drama.
Political doom and gloom.
Cold weather.
Cold tiles on winter mornings.
False modesty.

Just to name a few.

Rainbows, I Tell You

I read an article titled: "Psychologists now know what makes people happy."

My favorite part of this article on happiness by Marilyn Elias:

"One of the happiest men I ever met was a 64-year old Chicago welder with a fourth-grade education," he says. The man took immense pride in his work, refusing a promotion to foreman that would have kept him from what he loved to do. He spent evenings looking at the rock garden he built, with sprinklers and floodlights set up to create rainbows."

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

There you go boys.

My family doesn't know about this blog. Knowing them, it will not interest them in the least. I'm still going to let them know about it because today this post is for them. Just a little unsolicited advice.... some reminders of things I'm sure they already know.

1. You can never overdress.

2. Stand up for the little guy. He'll remember you.

3. In monopoly, buy the orange properties.

4. A phone call to your grandparents is time well spent.

5. You are what you do, not what you say.

6. Men with facial hair have something to hide.

7. Don't flatten burgers on the grill. It squeezes out the juices.

8. Follow instructions. You'll be done in half the time.

9. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room. You'll be surprised how often in works.

10. Flossing is just as important as brushing.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My prayer for today

Dear Lord, If you can't make me skinny, please make my friends fat.

Sorry to all my friends. Don't hate!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

On being cutting edge

We were watching television recently and a commercial came on for a fancy new blanket with arms. No longer do you have to wrestle to cover yourself, the ad declared, or have your blanket slip off when you answer the phone or use your remote control.

This blanket, the one with arms, stays put no matter what. You can read or change the televsion channel or even get up and walk around. The blanket stays with you through it all.

I was getting caught up in the allure of the blanket with arms, mesmerized by this new found, ingenious product. I started marvelling at how amazing it would be to have this space age technology in our home.

And then I was jolted back to earth.

"Also known as a robe, "hubby said to the televsion, terribly unimpressed. I started doing some calculations and realized we were cutting edge--we have two of those fancy new blankets in our home already.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Make it a short stack.

Do you like to have breakfast for dinner? I love it! You can imagine my excitement when I found out that today is National Pancake Day. I bet you know what I'll be cooking for dinner tonight. Maybe I'll top them off with fresh strawberries and whipped cream with a little turkey bacon on the side. YUM. So get your griddle warmed up and have a great day.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Top Twelve Reasons I Avoid Exercise

1. Can't find a good sports bra.
2. Two showers a day is 1.5 more than I have time for (Plus all the blow drying)
3. My knee/neck/gums hurt. (Pain is my body telling my head, Really? You're trying to do a situp? Is that wise?)
4. Eating a box of Captain Crunch and or Apple Jacks until the roof of my mouth is shredded is a workout.
5. I don't want to get intimidatingly buff. I want you to feel welcomed. Hello, I'm fluffy.
6. It's winter. (I can't go outside)
7. It's spring. (I gave it up for Lent.) Can Mormons do that??
8. It's summer. (Hot. Might die.)
9. It autumn. (Pil-whatees=hard, XL sweatshirt=easy)
10. Huffing and puffing when climbing the stairs with laundry in my jello arms is how I know I'm almost alive.
11. I don't have cute workout clothes. I've got church clothes and pajamas. (yoga pants=nap)
12. My IPod is acting wierd.

I have been toying with the idea of going to my friend Jenn's yoga class to get a great workout. But mostly to see all my old friends!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

premium only...

I have always considered myself as being a low maintenance kind of girl, but as I get older I require more. I feel like I am becoming one of those cars that require premium gas so they won't ping.

I just want premium sleep--perfect blissful, uninterrupted, with the right combo of pillows and soft blankets. Really I promise much better performance if I get a good 8-9 hours of sleep. No grouchy sputtering noises, no whining, just smooth running and high performance all day.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

On Bargin Shopping

Hi, My name is Annie and I am a bargin shopper. Without a doubt TJ Maxx is one of my favorite stores. It helps that it is just up the street from work. And for that reason, I stop there on my way home once a week.

As a rule, I try not to pay more than $40 for any 1 item of clothing. Including shoes and jeans. Although, I am not above asking hubby to buy me a Kate Spade purse. Which totally doesn't count because "I" am not the one making the purchase. Right? But, I can usually find great name brand merchandise for under $20. (Ahhh, the shoppers high)

You never know what merchandise they will have on any given day, so the trick is to stop by frequently. And be willing to browse. Hubby refuses to go with me. He cannot stand to browse. I think he has the affliction that most males are born without. The anti-shopping chromosome?

I received a J-Crew catalog in the mail yesterday. So what. People are willing to pay $100 for a ruffly tank top? $50 for a cotton tee? Gah! If you need me, I'll be at TJ Maxx or the outlets. In the clearance section.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Books are my drug of choice.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to read. In the summer, the bookmobile would come to our little town once a week. Each week I would pedal my bike to the little white church and check out an armload of books. I always checked out the maximum amount allowed. On the occasion that my friend would come with me, I would con her into checking some out for me.

I would always finish reading my stack of books before the next "bookmobile" day. Eventually, I learned to pace myself so I could savor the books all week. I especially loved reading Nancy Drew mysteries. Though, every once in a while, I would check out a Hardy Boys mystery. Still, Nancy Drew was tops! I could relate to and imagine myself being her. The Hardy Boys? Hmmm....Not so much.

I still love to read. Every day. Sometimes I have several books going at a time. I can spend hours and hours in bookstores. There is nothing more relaxing to me than reading. More often than not, when Mr. T cannot find me, he knows to head into the bedroom because that is where I will be. Reading in my bed. It seriously makes me happy.

Monday, February 2, 2009

A girl can dream.

While driving home Saturday evening, a billboard caught my eye. In big bold letters it said "Wear your jeans to church." Unfortunately, I was going too fast to catch any details. I actually thought about this billboard yesterday. Twice. First as I was trying to squeeze my bottom into a pair of spanx. (A lot of audible grunting was involved.) I have a love/hate relationship with spanx. The reason being, is they tend to cut off the circulation to my brain. It's a wonder I can mediate and worship in church without a fresh supply of blood going to my brain!

The second time, as I was sitting reverently in church and I found it difficult to concentrate. Because I was freezing!!! Blue lips kind of freezing. So I was sitting there thinking, "I bet this wouldn't be happening if I was sitting here wearing my jeans." I'm just sayin.

P.S. Can someone that direction go write that phone number down for me please?

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Too Funny!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Smile!

Sometimes I get really stressed about stuff - like $$ and war and stuff. Then I look over at this cute face and figure, seriously, how bad can it possibly be?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Oops. He did it again!


I received a call from Mr. A last night. He was calling from the emergency room where he had spent the last 2 hours. While working, he cut his finger. Again. Thankfully, no tendons were severed this time. He went into great detail about about what the injury looked like. I felt lightheaded just hearing about it. He wanted to send a picture of his injury. "I'll pass" I said. Who knew being a chef was so dangerous? All I have to say is, "quit sharpening that knife."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

That took care of that.

Every time about this year, I get the urge to go on a vacation. Somewhere warm of course. Then I think about all those extra pounds from the holidays that have to be lost. Being seen in a bathing suit would not be a good idea. Quickly, I changed my mind and decided to stay put. Sad, sad situation.